Thanks Aventinus, makes sense. I need a few 2x4's every once in a while. I'll focus on myself and kids.
Sorry if I am being nasty. The first second I read your post, I thought "Jeez, I did not mean this to be a 2x4". The truth is I did, though. Not to make you feel bad, but to make you think about your actions and thoughts.
That said, I want to emphasize something very strongly. Do not be harsh to yourself. Stay away from thoughts like "How could I do this??!?!", "This is the final nail in the coffin" and so on. Understand one thing. No one single action (with the exception on assault, murder and attempted murder) will get you divorce, just as no one single action will get you two back together. Both the disintegration and the rebuilding of a M are long processes.
You are probably discouraged by the fact that rebuilding your M will take a long time. But this also works for you, because even now, when your W wants D, a small slip up will not be fatal by itself. Your goal should be not to be perfect, but to improve, and learn from your actions. Use your errors as feedback material, nothing more. Say, if you make a sarcastic remark, and your Wife moves out of the house, it was not the remark that made her do it. That was just a pretext. But whatever her reaction, you should note your error and make sure you do your best you do not repeat it (or at least repeat it less often for the time being).
I have been in a similar sitch for 3+ years now, and I will tell you that the mistakes I made back then that made me feel sick, now seem distant and unimportant. I have learned from them and I do not need them anymore... So, do not worry too much. I know how impossible this seems but if you stick to it, it will eventually become possible.
