TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I see indifference as being the opposite to love and hate but what about love alone? Love - indifference? Hate - indifference? Love and hate - indifference?
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
I don't agree with the scale approach as something either is, or isn't. Like either the light is on or it is off. On and off are opposites even if the dimmer is halfway, the light is still on. Can't be a little on or off. Or being pregnant. One cannot be a little pregnant. Either you are or you are not independent of where you are in the term. So, love and hate are feelings/emotions. Indifference is not having any feeling or emotion at all. So when one is in love or hate, those are emotions and stem from the same part of the brain which triggers similar responses to each other. Indifference is devoid of any feeling so it is the opposite of love. On or off.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Yeah. After more thought I agree FM. So H got my kids to call me today. I asked D9 how she was and she replied " Not too good" (She didn't sound good.) apparently she got sand in her eye after sliding down sand dunes. That was in the morning and she said she had not done anything else all day because it is hurting her too much. H or his GF had already tried all of my suggestions, except taking her to the doctors. Apparently there are none open. D9 has a very high pain tolerance, so if its hurting her that badly even after panadol, then it's not good. S8 was telling me how another child got burnt by the fire they have going! Last time H had them, they came back very badly sunburnt.
I hate it when H had them. I don't trust him and I feel like I don't know him anymore. It kinda feels like leaving my children with a stranger, which I would never do. When ever I talk to them when they are with H all I can hear is other children running wild. Screaming and fighting. I hear his GF yelling at her children telling them to "Get over it" or " Suck it up" it seriously sounds like a bunch of feral bush pigs.
I don't like,... At least when he was staying at his Mums, I knew they were safe.
Last time he brought them back they were both starving. It was 4:30pm and they said all they had eaten was toast for brunch!
I hate this.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
If he's abusing/neglecting the children you need to see a lawyer or call child protective services. Do not allow neglectful/abusive behavior to happen at all!!! Just make sure your not looking through rose colored glasses.
(((SS))) Breath and relax
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Bug, It feels more like I love the "old" H but hate the "New" H
Subguy, I would definately do that if I had to. I was not happy at all about the sunburn. They got burnt the second day they were there and they were still very red when they got home over five days later. Especially concidering D9 told me that there was not enough sunscreen and he told her not to worry about it. Of course he denied that but then told me a couple of days ago that he brought more sunscreen. Hmm
He knew I wasent impressed and I told him it was very very bad sunburn. If its happens again he will know about it.
It was not one of my children who got burnt by the fire, so I can't really say anything about that.
As for D9s eye I haven't actually seen it, so I can't say too much yet. He has told me he will take her to the doctors tomorrow if its still bothering her.
As for the food, there has been the odd occasion where the kids have said something to me like "We didn't have lunch today" then I'd remind them of what they had and they would say "oh yeah" that's very rare and they did seem very hungry, came in and went straight to the cupboard. I asked them and they said they had breakfast, lunch and dinner all the other days, so it's just something I will have to keep an eye on.
The kids have told me that Neither H nor OW yell at them but they both yell at her kids a lot. They honestly do sound like a bunch of ferral bush pigs but as long as they are not treating my kids like that, then there's not much I can do.
I think the worst part is I really feel like I don't know H anymore. The rest I'm just putting down as an adjusting period. H has never been much of a father in a lot of ways.
I don't really think they are in any real danger but its still hard not to worry.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Indifference is neither. So I think that indifference is the opposite of love and hate.
We'll have to agree to disagree on this point then, because going back to the hot/ cold analogy, tepid is not the opposite of hot nor cold. It is in the middle between them. It is neither hot nor cold. Same with indifference. It is neither love nor hate. It is the middle ground between the two. Picture it as two right triangles pointing towards each other with the angle of the hypotenuse indicating the intensity of the emotion. Where the tips touch you have indifference, there the emotions zero out. As you move farther away from indifference you have an increase in that emotion (depending on which way you're moving) until you hit the extreme of that emotion out at the vertical leg of the triangle. Indifference is not the opposite of either emotion. Likewise, the opposite of happy is not ambivalent, it is sad.
Hate and love are emotions and indifference is no emotion, so indifference cannot be on the scale or triangle of emotion measurement. So, if you are measuring for example you cannot measure inches against temperature (distance versus temperature). They are different. Tepid describes a level of temperature. Indifference is no level at all of emotion and cannot be compared. One may feign indifference though, but that is a whole other ball game. I think that is what a lot of us experience in the WAS. They act like they are indifferent, then get hostile or inadvertently show emotion at times. It is either emotion or not emotion...love or indifference...hate or indifference.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
