What I'm learning from H stages, myself!

[albamarie]

Monday morning and I just got a kiss on the cheek good-by from my alien. Was it the alien, was it a tiny glimmer of my H, was it the new guy who is a combination of both, I don't know but it felt odd.

Yesterday H was "involved" a little with small questions and interest about the kids, especially D19 and her new bf. He started all the kids cars and arranged them so the salt truck wouldn't dump on them, and set the garbage at the curb.

I made family dinner and while we sat laughing after eating h finally came in and made a plate. He actually sat at the table and joined in on the trivia quest. my S21 was throwing at us. There was a point were h looked at me, he looked right into my eyes, and stayed there like he used to when he was thinking and pulling me in for help.

I was thinking how it didn't look cold and dark in his eyes, but it looked and felt uncomfortable, they look sad even yellowish, without any depth, almost old. H always had very youthful eyes, he would look at me inquisitively, eagerly for answers, filled with fun and love.

He compliment dinner several times and cleaned up the counters. Then he took a shower, arranged some clothes for the morning, cleaned the living room, while the whole time still making small talk with me or S's & D.

At bed time we all went our ways, I was in my room settling down with a movie and H comes in-puts his drink on his nightstand, asks me if I'm watching anything good. He asks me if I mind as he grabs the corner of the blanket on his side of the bed, I motion nicely to go ahead and he gets in making sure not to disturb me.

By this time I'm thinking who are you, it's always a mystery who I am talking to, I should never have watched Sybille as a kid. He falls asleep almost immediately warm, clean, fed, and in a bed, he slept all night without getting up and becoming a vampire lurking around the house.

So, he gets up with the alarm, makes coffee, no cursing, no thumbing, just the weather channel and packing his tools. He comes in my room, apologizes that he needs the lamp on, and when I sit up talks to me again. Pleasantly, optimistically, and full of hope for some new clients, he's talking to me as if were friendly, then he crawled on the bed for that kiss.

Who, what was that? I hold no hope he'll come home that way, take every encounter as they come, no expectation. It will be interesting to see where he goes with this. I would like friendly terms, I would like to be done with the worst part of MLC.

I don't feel for the M though, I think more about having a good R as family, I don't see him as my H anymore. This did start out as a defense mechanism for me and now it has become truth, I don't think I can live him as a S.

We have not told him about becoming a GP, so that is what I will place my hopes on right now as far as him sticking with some sort of human like traits. If we can get past that and move even a little forward toward him treating us with respect I will take it!