Why did you need to have the discussion? And was the discussion about cleaning?
W came in the MBR and asked why I said something about S18. I don't remember her exact question, but initial topic was about S18 and church. It was pretty much an attack on me, with W basically saying I'm to blame because S18 doesn't want to be more involved at church.
Ultimately, my W is a conflict avoider. She was clearly upset, though whether it was about the church, or cleaning, or something else is unknown. She wanted to say something about it, but as soon as it escalated, she fell back into "I'm done" mode and left the room. This is all very normal, though I didn't see it clearly at the time.
In hindsight, I should have asked her to sit down and tell me what was really bothering her. I should have been loving and supportive, I should have defused the fight before it started. And I just read Gottman's chapter talking about defusing fights too...doh!
