Rinse, repeat, replay

[Raine]

Journal Time: Not pretty, but it is what it is.

H has been making late night "booty calls" to OW#1 the past 3 nights. This is the first he has done this. And I'm assuming that's what he is doing, and not going over there to watch a movie or have some deep convo at midnight and then leaving a few hours later. I'm guessing things have now moved into something more serious, although I don't think he is spending dating/relationship time with her, other than maybe eating lunch with her. Very odd. Or now he is done with his trip, where he hooked up with OW#3, so he now cycling back to #1. OW#2 & #3 are still in play, contacting him, but not physical right now, but they are not close by.

I feel like I have to let this play out, which is a sickening feeling. I just don't see any other options at this point. His problem. His journey. I hope he feels like crap! He's got 14 yr old hormones on steroids, so it seems. And he's got women willing to be used. It's weird that I feel so unemotional towards it right now, shouldn't I be crying my eyes out? I feel like that's not my husband, and he's already cheated on me. Maybe I've already cried those tears. I just wish something would land on his head and knock him into the deep rock bottom where he can pull his head out and grow up. Yeah I know. He is a long ways away. Can something just fall on his head anyway?

I'm distancing myself more, more than I ever have, but still being nice around him, when I have to be around him. No more playing games on the phone with him since first booty call night. He keeps sending requests, but I'm done.

He went to S8's game on Saturday. I dropped S off and went to park the car. H immediately sent me texts wondering why I wasn't coming in. During the game he wanted to talk to me about what he had been up to that weekend (not including OW of course!) He got me a drink without me asking and was super attentive. He wanted to come over and play games with the boys after and I said that was fine. He asked me twice if I wanted to play with them and I said no that's okay. I was going to do laundry. Mind you I'm super sweet, super friendly to him, always, not giving him the cold shoulder, just I'm busy. He came in the room before leaving to thank me and to let me know he was going.

Today he calls and I ignore it. So then he does the call cell, call home, call cell, text, call cell dance. I took a nap. I call him back two hours later and left a message saying sorry I missed his call, I was asleep, and to let me know if he needed something. He called about 5 mins later. Kind of funny convo. He wanted to let me know that he had changed his plans and was going to see my brother's kids on a different day next week. I said okay. He was pretty flustered, kept saying, "I can't remember what else I was going to tell you." And then he said, "Oh do you care if I just stop in and say hi to the boys before I go to your brothers?" I said that was fine. So then I went and took a bath.

H showed up while I was in the tub and so he came in and talked through the door and I told him the boys were downstairs. A few mins later the boys came running to ask me if they could go with their dad to see my brother. I said sure. So then H comes to the door and says, "Did you say yes?" I said, "yes that's fine, they just need to be back for bedtime." He said, "I didn't think you'd say yes. I just don't know what time I'd be back, and he doesn't have the kids, and..." so then he talks the kids out of going because it would be boring and the other kids aren't there. Could be he is making another booty call after, but I thought it was pretty funny. I never came out before he left. He just said bye through the door and that he could take the kids whenever I needed him too. He has been happy and pleasant every time I've been around him for the past few weeks now.

Well maybe I was wrong. No booty call so far tonight. Must be a school night.