One more update, it was H’s birthday yesterday. I called him and wished him happy birthday and lots of happiness. He started to tell me that he was going to one place where they have BBQs and some other activities going on. I told him that it sounds like lots of fun. He said yes. Then I told him that my family wished him a happy birthday too and that I had to go. He told me “have a good day”, I said “you too”.
I was thinking about my feeling last night. I feel that I am starting to watch what my H does from a distance, like I’m a third person just observing the behavior of somebody else. I think it is also getting to the point when I’m ready to give up. It is kind of liberating actually, since I think I am almost not afraid to start talking about the separating our assets, etc. I haven’t cried for a couple of weeks now, and it is kind of weird. I still have a tight knot in my stomach, but the intensity is not as big any more. Am I just not cut for a long standing like other people on this board?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
