I wouldn't think holding hands advances anything to a PA.

About your next question, here is where you start making changes by not acting out of the emotion.

I would guess you're angry, hurt and you want to do something to take that feeling away. Often when we're hurt we lash out to hurt those who hurt us.

Instead think about whatever you might do, would that help you get closer to your goal?

Is a PA a deal breaker for you?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss