Thanks longrun, like I said not mindreading is easier said than done.
There are other reasons that I would like to know if it is an affair though. In my sitch, there were some red flags, but there could also be another explanation (for instance that he may be gay). Not knowing either way is the worst part.
When I first suspected I was pretty sure in my mind that it was an affair. I was very angry but also focused and at peace with it. I actually met with the meanest divorce lawyer around and was ready to fight her for every asset. Since then I have looked at it a bit more rationally and now I'm not so sure what is happening making it even harder to deal with. The best financial move would be for me to fight her in this divorce. I have a few cards that I can play and if I knew with relative certainty that she was cheating then I would have no issue fighting her. However, if she is just tired of me and has respected our marriage vows, I would be more likely to have a collaborative divorce (which would likely leave me with less).
