Emotionally drained and strained. Like I'm back on square one. Also on my DB technique.
It's been one month since Christmas, when W indicated she was open to C together, and so far C as not agreed to it. I'm very disappointed about that.
Friday afternoon/evening we were very chatty...snow here, lots to small talk about.
Saturday, 1/26, morning Friendly texting back and forth about S16 progress and meds. Invited her to dinner with us. See Friday morning exchange in other post above. She didn't respond at all. Presuming she went in to C at that time.
About 2 hrs after I was sure C was done texted "Hello". One word reply "migraine"
I was a [censored] and called her. Didn't answer, texted don't feel like talking. I said just for a sec, called again, no answer, texted "wow".
Emotional state: angry, thinking she's lying about migraine....I know....
45 minutes or so later felt bad about the exchange and my thoughts, texted "I'm sorry you have a migraine. Hope you feel better"
About 10 years ago she had huge issue w/migraines...ER visits, specialists, the nines. Diet all but got rid of them, still gets a few a year as do I.
About 5:30 texted to ask if she was feeling any better and to tell her I was eating at my B w/S20, and D17 and S16 going to friends. Short pleasant exchange how we were both surprised and glad S16 felt like being up and out.
Today, I texted to ask if she was better, after church. She texted back after a couple hours she just woke up, the headache back, nausea. I warned her about the icy conditions expected here at rush hour in the morning.
Asked if I could call. Said she wasn't up for it so I didn't but asked if I could later.
She said ? Have to see how I feel.
I said "I don't feel like I'm asking for much"
No reply.
She comes around, talks positive, about future. Then I try to plan with her, she won't. She says "I hurt everyone I touch" I need clarification on that. I haven't had nerve yet to ask for it.
Not a good weekend.
BTW, she said C told her to "make it hard on him". I presume that means force me to make real changes, and I know, because W told me, it means don't initiate contact as much. I feel like that is cruel.
I hate uncertainty. Life has no guarantees, sure, but at least most people have a plan and can reasonably assume many things. I can not.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
