If you want to read my whole story follow this link.
Not married, just my gf so all of this is tough since there isn't a threat of D. Basically, I suspected and accused of EA/PA back in Sept 2012. It was denied non-stop but things ate away at me and I could just feel something was wrong. Only recently found out all the way back in July 2012 she was sexting with ppl but didn't consider it cheating b/c she never actually had sex with anybody.
12/25/12 she admits to me that she had started "talking" to a guy I had suspected for a long while. I was acting very needy at the time and asked her to really think things through. After new year she tells me she's thought it through and her heart must have never been in our R b/c of the sexting, which had happened to her (she was cheated on by ex-H and possibly some others), and would've never done that to me if she really care. She also said I never really cared b/c of the way I treated her. I did make many mistakes and didn't make her feel wanted and welcomed in the house when her and kids moved in.
So now she is living with OM and I've been told through the grapevine they are dating. She goes back and forth praising how he treats her like a queen and then how he is "wishy washy" and says that he wants to be with her and then says he wants to be with his kids mother.
I haven't seen her in 2 weeks, she stops by my house when I'm at work to purposely avoid me. Majority of her stuff is still here b/c she is staying with OM who, he and his kids, live with his parents. So OM, his 2 kids, his parents, my ex-gf, and her 3 kids in this little house. I say ex-gf b/c back in Oct 2012 I blew up and threw her out to try and get a point across that things needed to change, she hasn't let me forget that I broke up with her technically and she never agreed to being my gf again.
She noticed and commented to a friend of mine (while complaining about OM) about how I had cleaned up the house. So now 2 weeks, she hasn't seen me but has tried calling me asking where stuff is in the house. She always tries calling me at work for something simple that could be texted. I've been declining the calls at work to set up a boundary but I wonder if she is trying to reach out to me b/c she wants to come back.
I've been doing a good job of backing off and going dark. Mentally, I haven't really detached, I think about her all the time. I'm trying "fake it til you make it". I just don't know how long I hold out on this "backing off" stance and the avoidance issues. Today I so want to text her, "I want you and the kids to come home. I want this to be OUR home. I want to talk about how to make it OUR home. I want to do whatever it takes to make you and me work, get through this together, and be a family."
