Wife privileges reinstated, back in my own bed!

[mamabird]

I know that he loves me, or at least, is trying to. I know that he's been hurt and wounded by everything that's happened in the past. And, Hopeful, I know that he doesn't feel like he's good enough, though over the years my H has tried - he is pretty good with gifts and that kind of stuff. That was a big sticking point for him - how he did this and that and I didn't appreciate it.

I'm working on just trying to appreciate the positive stuff and letting the negative stuff go as much as I can. My mother is EXTREMELY critical and not zen at all so unfortunately I've picked up some sh!tty life skills from her (along with some good ones).

About the budget specifically, this is one area of frustration for me. H does not seem that interested in participating in areas of our financial life. I am happy to take this on more now that I am working less and he is working more, but by the same token, I wish he were more financially inclined. We do have a financial advisor, which helps and solves a lot of problems since neither of us want to handle that stuff ourselves. Things slip through the cracks though and because he won't get involved, it always becomes my fault. For instance, I just found out I left some money on the table last year because my stock options expired 90 days after I quit my job and I didn't know that was going to happen. H acted like I should have known that.

Anyway, I know I shouldn't complain since so many people here would just like to have their spouses back. My only point is that even though we are "back together", it doesn't change the fact that we have significant problems that need to be addressed.