Wow, have things changed

[Tallula]

So the conversation was not long. There were no tears, no fighting. He talked, mostly. He hates himself. Wants to just die. I am completely right, he should give me access to everything, but something is holding him back (um, maybe getting "caught"!?). He best friend gave him an earful. He is mad at him. He said, "I know I should do these things, but I can't. I just don't think I'll ever change. I'm just a huge peice of you know what! I hate myself!"

I simply said " well, we have 2, soon to be 3 amazing kids who love their dad and you need to get ok. I don't think you should be asking yourself if you can change, but do you want to? Whether you and i end up together or not is the point anymore. We need to be happy, and right now we are both miserable. This isn't working & we will end up hating each other. I don't hate you, just hate the things you are doing. I need to take care of myself, since no one else is."

So today we are going to go through our budget & see what we can do for this month. Figure out visitation schedule, etc. But, I feel good. Bottom line, our kids deserve for us to be able to co parent successfully. That is my focus as I'm talking to him.