Next Step, Moving On

[mamabird]

One thing I was reading which may help you is the concept of being "empathetic yet decisive."

This means you say to your W, "W, I understand your feelings about wanting me to move out. I understand that is your preference. However, I feel very strongly about this. I am sorry, but I am not moving out."

You cannot be the disease and the doctor at the same time.

My H was all over me for moving back into my house after he had banished me for 3 months. Just before my kids went back to school in the fall, largely thanks to the encouragement of the wonderful people here, I moved back in. H was pissed. That is how I ended up sleeping in the den for 4 months. He would always say to me, "If you had any respect for my feelings, you wouldn't have moved back in." I just wish I had had something in my toolbox to say back to him.

You have every right to be in your home. Let her move out. See if she really does it. My H threatened and threatened and threatened and when push came to shove, he decided he'd rather R than move out. To paraphrase Mr. Bond, and no offense intended, grow a pair and tell her if she wants to split up so badly, there's nothing you can do to stop her from leaving.