I agree with the other wounded spouse posters here, they have nailed it and expressed what I feel regarding my W.
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little frustrated because I see him as doing this not for me, but for the kids and to preserve his lifestyle. I guess that isn't a horrible thing, but it's clear it's not about me, just from his behavior. If there were not kids involved, we would have been over a long time ago I think.
It's an opening, a starting place, and yes, it's not about YOU primarily at this point. FWIW, I believe that my mlc W only stayed at one point because of the kids, and that she didn't want to get a job, etc...so I get where you might be coming from.
That said, most men that I know would stay for the kids, but would not stay to maintain a life style if their was no love/desire/wanting for the W. I would rather live out of my truck and backpacking gear than stay with a woman I didn't love who hurt me so. And I did consider it, but the kids, and the possibility of reconciling, because I do love this woman, kept me form leaving or kicking her out.
Maybe try to redefine things as "we/us", rather than "me/him".
Just my 2.5 cents, your mileage may vary. T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
