W will do what she wants. Time for ME and D3 !!

[SM34]

AnotherStander, you will be so proud of me! I have been reading a lot of your posts to people about how to listen to your W, hear her problem or emotion, validate, ask how bad it is, and then revalidate with a "you have the right ..."

I JUST DID THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH MY W VIA TEXT!!

She said at the park, D3 was pushed by a little boy and she fell backwards badly and started srying. W went over to see D3 and the boy's mom didn't move from off the park bench or say anything to her son for what he had just done.

My wife said "I am so mad! God I wanted to smack that lady!"

I said "Wow, you sound very angry. How angry are you?"

She said "Very angry! I can't believe the mom didn't do anything. Is that what you teach boys these days?

I told her "I total see, you have every right to be mad. There was no need for that"

She said "I know! Parents should teach their boys to respect girls

I said "You are absolutely right. When I was young we were taught to be more respectful than that. Was D3 crying long?"

She said "Well, D3 wasn't so mad, I was mpore pissed than she was! LOL"

This conversation would have been COMPLETELY different and much MUCH shorter before I read your tip OVER AND OVER on everyone's threads.

It would be as follows:

"Some little boy pushed D3 at the park! She fell over backwards and started crying! I was so mad!"

Me: "You should have said something to his mom. Thats not nice" <-- no validation of the emotion. .. And offering a solution instead of listening to the emotion and validating is NOT what women want!

I am learning so much on these forums. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU! I wish I would have come here before BD. Probably would have been in a much better place.

they should really teach these things in school. Imagine our divorce rate if there was a "Understand your W 101" class =)