Help/Advice needed please...

[Intact]

Since your w's claims about you mostly involve NOT pursuing her IN the marriage (unless you wanted sex) you may want to re-evaluate your strategy here. Get input from others b/c I may not be interpreting this correctly,

but you sound like you were a neglectful h, and now your approach seems to be more of the same, except YOUR place is clean. You still go out with your friends. So why would SHE think YOU are changing?

Wife came round earlier to drop off our son. She looked a little run down in all honesty.


Don't interpret HER state of mind. Listen carefully, with full eye contact, to what SHE SAYS and leave out the mind reading.

She told me she was off out tonight with her friend and her partner was giving her a lift back so she could have a drink.

My wife hasn't drunk since she had our son 8 years ago as she says she hates the feeling of being drunk and not in control.

People change. They explore new things or things they THOUGHT they hated. Don't interpret.

Focus on YOUR changes. You waste energy by focussing on HER and not you. Do your work.

Why does she know want to drink? I quite often used to ask if she would like a drink etc.

Who cares? Seriously. Why does this^^ matter at all to you? You're spending your time wondering what SHE is doing and WHY.

You have some big issues to work on, so that you can become a man only a fool would leave.

Spending time wondering why she is doing what SHE is doing, keeps your focus on the wrong person. Do you get that?


I didn't ask what my wife was upto btw.

good

Can you answer the questions I asked you before, now?

This is worrying actually. One of her complaints was that I acted like a single man at times by going out with my friends... I wonder what I do about that now? I need to go out and have a life...

Her major complaint was I didn't do enough around the house but I can understand when you said I'm doing the same except with a clean house...

Do you please have any suggestions what I could do?

When she talks I always make sure there is eye contact and I always try and ask her about her day etc - another complaint.

But as I was neglectful how can I now counteract this?