Wife privileges reinstated, back in my own bed!

[hopefulinga]

It has been a week now since we technically started piecing. H has not put back on his wedding ring and I have not mentioned it. I put mine back on immediately. I am a little frustrated because I see him as doing this not for me, but for the kids and to preserve his lifestyle. I guess that isn't a horrible thing, but it's clear it's not about me, just from his behavior. If there were not kids involved, we would have been over a long time ago I think.

I wouldn't worry about the wedding ring for right now, and you probably do need to lower your expectations. There are a few things on your thread that I see that would lend some credibility to what you are feeling.

"It would be amazing if I could have a great relationship with the mother of my children."

When I first read this, I noted how it is worded. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be negative, and I'm not trying to mind read your H. He didn't say anything about his relationship with you as his W.

Another thing that hit home with me was your discussions with him before he left. You were talking to him a lot about how he couldn't afford to move into your rental house. If you didn't emphasize that, do you think he would have left?

When I was in my WAS phase, one of the things that kept me here was finances. I told my IC over and over that if money were different, I would leave. But over time, I grew closer to H and saw the good things about him and wanted to stay.

I think you still need to put your focus on you and your kids, and less on H and your M. Your H is still protecting himself and is waiting to see if you are really committed, or if there is going to be another OM.