I agree with another stander. Emphathy goes a long way. When you respond, try and use the words 'I understand'. These words will be picked up in your spouse's sub-conscious, and she will automatically assume you 'get it'. When you 'get it', your spouse will not only assume you're listening, but will also feel that you're on their side. You are supporting their pride, and that's one of the ways to get back in their wheelhouse.
