Wife privileges reinstated, back in my own bed!

[FloydMan]

SS, Starsky and Breakdown are BANG on RLA.
Seriously, this is the feeling. No matter the combined issues prior to the A's, you have to own it and deal with it so H can. The minimizing is at times more hurtful than anything. H is not trying to lay on a guilt trip. Who would want to make someone feel guilty their whole life and live with them? He needs comfort and assurance. That is different than being needy. Trust needs to be rebuilt. Believe me, my W would do the opposite of all things 4 therapists ( 2 were our MC's) plus all the literature from the best expert minds in the world on this topic and it blew up. Trust cannot be built either way. MWD spells out a clear roadmap that is the same as all the others too in DR. The Infidelity chapter is bang on of what needs to happen for you both. 2 months, 4 months...it nodes not matter if it was a day or a year. It was betrayal. Stop blaming yourself and stop blaming him and just follow the roadmap. Because trust was broken, it affects trust in all areas. For your H to even think of working it out is honestly a very brave thing to do in his shoes. A lot of strength, both of you. You both need to appreciate that, but don't expect him to feel that first. You wanted to be in this position, so take the advice and run with it. Read DR and the infidelity part. No need for pride right now...don't let that get in your way.