Your 180's and self-improvement look great, congratulations on that, I'm glad you had the epiphany when your mother was sick. My W was infatuated with a co-worker at one point who did not feel the same way about her. That didn't diminish her feelings about him in the slightest, so had you looked at the duration of their phone calls or read their e-mail you also would have concluded that it was innocuous, but she has since admitted that she was very much in-love. It doesn't have to be reciprocated to be real for your H. The only reason I say that is because his behavior supports it, and if he *was* in love with her, at least in his mind, then it will take time for him to move past it and the best way to move forward is "no contact".
Based on where you are in your journey a couple books you may enjoy and find value in would be "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" and "Passionate Marriage", both are thought provoking.
Out of curiosity, what is it about your H that is keeping you so motivated? Why does he have no friends?
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
