Note, I have not been in a similar position as you. There were some others around that have been - have you searched the boards for their stories?
To offer a different perspective - you can only control you. He sounds like he is hurt. He will need to get past that hurt at some point, but it doesn't sound like he is able to right now. I suspect that you'll have to work incredibly hard to overcome that hurt. And you'll be very hurt along the way most likely. Kind of a way of evening things out, from what I've seen.
My advice? You can let him know you're sorry and don't want this, but that you understand, right? That because you understand how you hurt him, you don't blame him and will do what it takes to make it right, even if that means helping him to leave. He'll test you on that, so don't say it if you aren't sincere.
I'm sorry you're here, but I hope you find what you need and wish you the best.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
