Trying to move forward

[Dewayne]

"show her a snapshot of a Dad that would rather play with his D than a video game! You do spend time with her and play with her, right? Show your wife that. It's attractive"

I play with my daughter. 90% of the time she comes over that's what we're doing. But a lot of the time, Jo is asleep. We're talking about like 11:30 at night sometimes. She'll be sleeping and I'll watch Tv or Gaming and she wakes up sometimes when momma comes in. And if it's a movie, 9/10 times it's a Disney or Pixar animation. I spend as much time with my kiddo as I can, even when she sleeps, usually I'll turn radio on and lay beside her. I cherish all the time I have with her.

Sometimes she wants to play by herself, a trait that she only started since our split. Not often mind you, but sometimes.

One thing I would recommend though, don't "shut her down". No matter how you go abot this, it will come off as condesending and controlling. Just validate her "you seem angry and you have the right to be"....validate her and she will calm herself down. A much better approach.

I have tried validating her and she'd just remain mad and say "of course" but then go into something completely different, it went on and on. So I had to do something different, DB, remember? Stop doing what doesn't work. So I had to start shutting her down. That, has been working. This doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes she'll flip. LIke one time we were talking about the hearse and the mechanical problems and she jumped to Divorce talk like we had been talking about it for 10 min's almost in a psychotic way.

I saw a very similar situation and a veteran here told him "don't let her pull you into an argument. Shut her down and say 'i'm not having this discussion' and leave the conversation, say goodbye and hang up if you're on the phone for example" (mostly, can't remember word for word) So that's why I started doing this.

Speaking of this, on an ssri forum they said this is quite common for people in withdrawal, or when the medicine has 'pooped-out' meaning, it's stopped working as much, or at all (still affecting the brain, but no longer doing anything positive, causing 'twitches' in thought process) Her doctor agreed and also added "this is usually where we would up the patient's dose as well. Lots of times it's inside the 6-12 month period. She's been on it 8 months now.