She says she wants to try, which is good news, but she clearly came home for the kids and not me.
Well the kids are a valid reason to try at the M, so I wouldn't worry about that, but she does need to put some effort in.
Quote:
She doesn't act like she wants to try. She is cold, distant, sometimes angry. No hand holding, etc.
Give her some time, it's a big adjustment and she's still trying to decide if it's the right decision. Just stick to your DB'ing and try to stay detached, keep giving her time and space to sort her thoughts.
Quote:
I'm trying to stay detached in case she changes her mind. I'm continuing my GAL (going out twice tonight -- drinks with work friends and a night with non-work friends.) I don't call or text unless it is a reply. I don't reach for her, etc.
OK, good. Don't be cold though. Keep up with your 180's and always show her PMA.
Quote:
Last night, she asked me to sit on the porch with her, so I did. She cried about her mom and said she didn't want to end up like her. (She committed suicide 2.5 years ago.) She doesn't want to be sad and isn't sure we can be happy together. I just listened and put my hand on her shin.
Not bad. Try to get her to talk about how she feels and validate her emotions. Ask her what she's feeling- depressed, sad, scared, etc. Try to get her to explore those emotions, tell her you understand why she feels that way.
Quote:
I'm trying to be patient and remember that it's only been 2 weeks. I feel for those who have done this for months or years. It's not easy. I keep slipping up.
Don't worry about the slip-ups, it happens to all of us. Just learn from them and get back to DB'ing
