I'll take the hug. And S2 is a superhero now, so he definitely feels better.
A few other side details in addition to my ? above. I am presuming she and OM have an R again or something. Easier to think the worst. Last night after working out I came upstairs to see W reading. She loves to read, but since the BD she has said her mind is too busy with all of her thoughts (past demons of abuse and current R stuff). So I when I noticed, I told her I was proud of her. Working the WOA.
Andrew, why do you think she's back with the OM? Bc of the FB friendship thing?
Also, I would explain why you think paying off debt is better. Show her the interest you would earn in a savings acct vs the interest on your debt. Then ask why she prefers to save. I think it's fine to ask if she's saving for a L. Just avoid painful R talks at this point.
You're doing so well, so keep it up. I know you love her and want to save your M, so feel good about yourself for doing everything you're doing.
Yes, partially b/c of the FB friendship thing and why not try deal with the worst case scenario.. W would rather pass on a pretty good catch and trade me in for someone who is.... Well I won't go there, now.
We passed on the $ convo til tomorrow night. I think S2 gave me a little of his sickness. So we each interacted nicely. I made dinner which is a 180 (a must especially when / if D occurs). I've actually been doing it fairly regularly and have made some good stuff. The funny thing is that when W was bathing boys, she called me in to look at a little bump on S2's rear (it's nothing), she callede "babe," and then quickly and "innocently" apologized. S7 popped off, "What's wrong with that? You call dad that all the time". I laughed it off and said it was her way of getting me to look at his rear, then turned and smiled even more. It was felt good, and it was more so funny. Just need to make sure it doesn't hook me in.
I've been minding my own, and doing my thing, and doing ok.
Oh, I did schedule my last appt (for now) with Jody for.next week. I also scheduled an IC appt for next week at 8p. That's a big difference. W was startled when I told her the time. Just taking that one to reconnect and get back into some consistency with him.
I'm a sweetheart? Thank you! Big smile on my face :-)
Yes you are. Your previous post pretty much hit my core. I do ultimately love W, but really realize the need for me to take better care of me. I think I'm doing that and in the end of all this, hope to have at least a good friendship R with her b/c of the kids. Like you, and my fellow DBers, I know I will.be able sleep better knowing I have tried my best. IC will advocate me to continue to be proAndrew. Jody most likely advocate I continue to highlight the big picture R - friendship path.
Today I was busy, but made time to keep in touch with W b/c S2 ended up having a fever and was sent home early from daycare (he is better now); and b/c W had a made an appt for herself b/c of her bladder and intense pain (again). All was ok. We've have been good talking / chit chatting /bsharing our day type stuff. She helped me pick out an outfit for my interview. She agreed with what I selected, and added that I wear my suit jacket. She seems almost as excited about this as I do.
A few other interesting notes, w asked if it was okay for her to stay here tomorrow night if the weather is bad (we're expecting a little snow). Also, W informed me that her gma yelled at her recently as well as D12. Not sure of the details, but sounded like it was along the lines of my Dad's comments but to W's face. I suggested we send Gma and my dad robs room to hang out together. Lol. D12 is ok. W and I each consoled her and explained that sometimes gma speaks before she thinks.
Anyways, I'm going to exercise for a few. And then see if she wants to have the $ / budget talk. Then prepare for the interview some.
Wish me luck for tomorrow. And of course I will be back with all sorts of updates as I have them.
Best of Luck, Andrew. I have to say, that there has been a bit of a shift in your attitude. If I can see it through the web, then wife is definitely seeing it.
Thanks IO. This shift is more true to who I want to be.
So this am, kids and W were called off of school / work before it even began snowing. That definitely gave me a little more cushion of time to prepare for the interview. W offered to help me get ready and made a few suggestions to help my chances, including wearing my wedding ring. It seemed odd, but definitely makes sense. W has been in many interviews from the hiring position so that adds to her opinion. It feels foreign to wear it. I had to use hand lotion to get back on. Lol.
So the interview went pretty well. I'm hopeful to make it the 2nd / final round. I used to work where the interviewer worked and knew the people. I think I may have filled her position. So we had lots of common / professional ground. Keep your fingers crossed.
My fingers are crossed! The common background with the interviewer will definitely help!
Your W's behavior is interesting. She seems to be in a more positive mood and still wants to share her activities with you. This is why I don't really see her filing for D.
I agree with Ruby that you do sound composed and confident. Keep it up, my friend.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home