Sorry you find yourself here. Have you read DR yet? If so, how about the 5LL?
I think you are starting down the right track in taking a good hard look at yourself, seeing what you don't like and changing. That's really what's it's all about. What are your goals? What are your 180s?
With regards to family, they don't want to see you in pain so they always suggest getting out...it's the quickest way to end your pain in their mind. Careful of that advice. Typically, the recommendation is to basically let the WAS do all the work for D, don't bring it up, don't help them get there faster. Stay in the MBR (and the house!), don't push them to move out...let them decide how to proceed.
How young was your H when his parents D'd? I know that caused a lot of issues for me and my M. It's a path he has to walk alone and figure out, but if you can understand some of what he's going thru, it's easier to be supportive.
