LBS-still hauling-3rd lap

[Dm45]

Well W popped in for a visit to check on S16. Probably better if she hadn't.
His swelling going down-great. Fixed her breakfast-great. Chit-chat great.

Asked her to come over tomorrow night----....."I'll see what I'm doing"
Well I think WTH.....so I'm not getting anywhere on expectations either.

W:counseling tomorrow will be emotionally tiring.
Me: ok that's why I said tomorrow night, so you can veg out for a while and come later.
W:I'll see what I'm doing.
Me: Feel like I'm being managed. For 4 months we've talked about nothing but your feelings and your healing. I need to heal too.
W:me 2. Can't come back here and feel like I'm the one fixing it.
Me: what is the IT?
W:I don't know everything. Sorry I make you feel managed.
Me: Im not asking you to come back, just come over. We need to work on things together.
W: I just feel like I hurt everybody I touch.
(Me in my mind: WTF, everyone you SHOULD care about hurting is right here in this house)
Me I'm sorry I didn't want you to get mad or down.

I do feel managed and I feel led on sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder....what if I walk away? Leave the kids and the dog like she did. Will she step up and take care of things?

Maybe tell her I'm not doing a damn thing else. I'll be back when she's back. See ya.

Lots of holes in that plan, I know, but I still wonder.