It's good to be here

[Mileus]

Thank you for the post. It has been very helpful over the last few days.

My new goals have been...
Work out 30 minutes each day.
Eat 1800 calories per day.
One fruit or veg at each meal. (usually more)
Lost 2-3 pounds each week.
Really talk to the kids each day, not just in passing. (I know this sound easy, but I work days, they work nights have boyfriends/girlfriends, etc.)
One family night each week.

I have tried to detach and 180.

Here is the new sitch. She came back.

Once I told her that she couldn't spend the nights here if she was with someone else, she decided she couldn't do that to the kids. Of course, she spent one last weekend with him first.(That was as bad as finding out initially.)

She says she wants to try, which is good news, but she clearly came home for the kids and not me. (At least she's home) She doesn't act like she wants to try. She is cold, distant, sometimes angry. No hand holding, etc. She did say I love you yesterday after 3 days, but it may have just slipped out.

I'm trying to stay detached in case she changes her mind. I'm continuing my GAL (going out twice tonight -- drinks with work friends and a night with non-work friends.) I don't call or text unless it is a reply. I don't reach for her, etc.

Last night, she asked me to sit on the porch with her, so I did. She cried about her mom and said she didn't want to end up like her. (She committed suicide 2.5 years ago.) She doesn't want to be sad and isn't sure we can be happy together. I just listened and put my hand on her shin.

I'm trying to be patient and remember that it's only been 2 weeks. I feel for those who have done this for months or years. It's not easy. I keep slipping up.