Soul.Searching my way back.

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks Bug. I know your right, it's just so hard sometime not to.
His an arse! Really he is. He called me five days in a row to ask me if I will pack the kids sleeping bags for their camping trip. I told him I would each time. Why keep asking? He knows I'm upset about not having them on Australia Day (Tomorrow) is he trying to rub it in? Trying to make sure it's on my mind? He has called me at least three times a day for the last week and all of it was about camping.
I think that's been a big thing for me this week. I've been woken up everyday by early morning phone calls from H daily. I haven't answered until I get sick of him calling. I think I tend to feel worse when H phones first thing.
I dread when his name shows up on my phone these days.
I know he either wants a favor or to tell me about his problems.

I find that strange too. He still calls me to tell me his work issues etc. Why? It's got nothing to do with me anymore! He may be leaving his job as he was given an ultimatum and he doesn't like it. It's just hard when he keeps calling so much.
Then it hurts when the calls stop. Just as I'm learning to deal with it, the calls start back up again.

The highs are high and the lows are low. Not as low as they used to be though. I'm very thankful for that.

H picked my kids up about half an hour ago, he was in such a rush which worries me. I just got a fire alert sent to my phone. Apparently there is bush fires in the next suburb. I've never got an alert like that before! I can hear many sirens and helecopters. I can't see or smell any smoke though. How scary