almost 3 months....seems like eternity

[2thepoint]

Either way, I will still DB my best. I passed her in traffic this morning. She waived, so I sent her a text saying, "good morning sunshine". Not really sure if that is pursuing or not, but nothing really seems to change her reactions to me.

There is an old saying: Grin, it makes people wonder what you are up to.

I totally get where you are at and especially after the friend shares intel with you. That must have really knocked you down a peg or two.

The one thing you have to keep in mind though is that regardless of what your W might be telling herself and others, it doesn't mean she is incapable of changing her mind. She can put on the happy face and pretend she has a plan and everything is going to come up roses, but we all know that life has a way of pushing back on our best laid plans and shoving a strong dose of reality down our throats.

Here is a quick synopsis on my sitch. In September 2011 my W says she is DONE!! DONE!!! She nearly has a nervous breakdown because of the stress of her choice and the affair she was having at the time. I moved out (bad move on my part but too late). Fast forward 4.5 months and my W lands in the hospital emergency room suffering from pneumonia which 2 days later turns into heart failure. She was in ICU for over week as I recall. She nearly died. But she did finally recover after I helped nurse her back to health.

A few months later, I really started to detach. I went on a week long trip to Spain. I visited friends in Vegas. I started exploring other interests (salsa dancing, cooking, etc.). Then I got a consulting gig 1500 miles away which had me away from home 2 weeks at a stretch. I guess you could say I went pretty dark.

During this time, W became very curious about what I was up to. Every other weekend when it was time to head back to the gig and I was giving the kids their hugs and kisses, there she was waiting for her goodbye hug.

There are a lot of other signs and signals I could describe but for now I think you get my point. Start living for you. Stop the pursuit in all its forms and get a life that is as separate from your W as possible. Try to keep things mysterious. The next time you see her on the freeway, wave and pull ahead and don't look back.

And don't forget to grin a little!!