Journaling; H came home this morning after not being here yesterday. Apparently, he's been complaining to ea that he's depressed, and looking for some guys house to sleep at so he doesn't have to make the 40 min drive home between gigs.
He then starts to spew about work, goodness his face is just bulging with rage. He tried to go down the list of what he's not, I stopped that quickly and said I don't want to hear it.
He stopped and said he doesn't know what he's doing in life anymore, he's living day by day and can't even handle that. He wants to stop working, but since he can't he wants to die working.
He had a rant at work Tue confirming that he's "crazy minded" and now the guys are asking if he's suicidal. So the office called me and now this job is asking about his behavior worried that he is going to crack in front of a talent one day.
I am amazed at how little progress he has made. He said today that he feels like a 3yr old, OMG are we going to go all the way to conception. Is he going to have to be reborn? Last time he gave me such an exact age he was 18 in College, that was about 3-4 months ago. I guess he's right on schedule reliving his childhood?
It sounds like he struggles with his struggles.
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
