Trying to move forward

[Juanton]

Dewayne, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult process. I'm sure that the Vets will chime in on your thread in a bit but just wanted to say your among friends.

[Dewayne]

I appreciate it guys. I didn't read much last night. I went to bed and mainly just thought. Prayed and talked to god. I understand how faith works, I guess I need more faith to get going. There's a difference in faithless praying and faithful praying. I've been praying and talking to god, but realizing that I have no faith. I pray, but have no faith that it'll work out.

So I woke up this morning, realizing all the CRAP that I lost! Lemme make a quick list, just so you guys get a grip of how much went down.

Cash: Over $36,000
Cars: 67 Camaro SS ($19,000), 74 Nova SS Street Drag car ($8,000)
Airbrush Equipment: Several Thousand

Hand Tools, Air Tools, Nail Guns, 4 Different Sanders, 2 Dremel sets, Saws out the wazoo, Miter saw, radial saw, circular saw, Sawzall, Table Saw, Jigsaws, $600 Aircompressor for Airbrush stuff, $300 Aircompressor for the tools, 18' Car trailer, several high end R/C cars and trucks, extension cords 150' HD ones, man irreplacable vintage board games like Heroquest with custom modifications etc, irreplacable artwork I've done since being 10 yrs old, $500 generator, excercise equipment,

I could go on and on. Might as well say we had a disaster adn lost everything BEFORE the Divorce. What happened was the wife was suppose to have taken care of rent on our building for November. She didn't. She used that money to pay for the Lawyer instead. So one day I'm going back to the haunt to get another load of stuff, the doors were locked and had a "foreclosure" letter all over it. Locks were changed. They did it without going through the legal system, which I could possibly get a lawsuit out of.

But yeah, I lost everything. Starting a haunted house was my wife's dream as well. Soon after taking Celexa she no longer cared about it and started caring about hanging out with her new teenage friends.

[AnotherStander]

I pray, but have no faith that it'll work out.

Same here. I've always been very spiritual, and I've always been convinced that if you 100% wanted something and that it was something that really mattered, that if you prayed for it you would get it. Well what could be more important to God than a marriage ordained by God? I've had to change my views on marriage. If marriages really were ordained by God then there would be no such thing as divorce. The same free will that allows people the choice to do evil also prevents marriages from being holy. It took me months to arrive at this and since then I've just prayed that God will heal me in whatever way he deems appropriate. And that's a prayer he has been answering.

So I woke up this morning, realizing all the CRAP that I lost! Lemme make a quick list, just so you guys get a grip of how much went down.

Oh man, that's really brutal!! I've got a lot of toys myself- motorcycles, R/C planes and cars, model collection, tools, tools, tools, etc. I would be absolutely sick to lose all that on top of losing my W! I mean my W of course means more to me than all the stuff in the world, but at least the hobbies distracted me from the pain of losing W. Do you know if the items are still stored there? Did you try to contact them and explain what happened to see if you could pay the back payments?

[SM34]

Did you have $36,000 of cash in the house???

[MrBond]

"I pray, but have no faith that it'll work out."

That's a contradiction. Don't pray that your M will be saved. Pray and have the faith that things will work out instead. Take the stress out of the marriage part.

[Dewayne]

The $36,000. This is what we use to start the hauntd house with. Some of that did come from the sale of the cars, but the car's money didn't all go to the haunt.

No, the haunt is gone, the storage buildings we bought, 24'x 40's buildings are gone, all the stuff I built over the years, destroyed and thrown away. All the masks, make up, mask making materials, prop building stuff, all of it.. gone.

The house, money, cars, tools, all of it is gone. The thing we BOTH decided, was that, "If this fails, at least we'll have our family and knowing we gave it our best shot!" and she said "Absolutely! We'll always have our familiy!"

So much for that thought. Now i've lost everything that I've had through my lifetime, and my family.

Very, very difficult for me. If I had just SOME of that stuff to rebuild a haunt, or maybe just to keep me occupied in doing something (more than a video game) I'd be better off. But I'm just biding time until a job comes through.

[MrBond]

There are other things you can do that don't require money. Get out and just do something. You need to keep your mind engaged so that you don't keep lingering on this.

[Dewayne]

You aren't getting how bad off I am.

I HAVE NO MONEY! There's really no place to walk, once I get to the end of the drive way there's lots of traffic and no sidewalks.

I have 1/8 tank of fuel I have to save for in case my job calls.

"getting out" to do things that even don't require money, REQUIRES money to "go" anywhere.

I'm almost homeless. I have a truck that may get resposessed in a few weeks if I don't get the job. I have filled out app's online for every place near that has online applications. Sent my resume's in for everything I can.

we have 3 houses here. Next door is an older man that wants to be left alone.

The guy out front is never home.

across the drive is a party house with people getting high and drunk. Not my thing anymore.

Just take my word for it, I've looked for thigns to "get out and do". And the cops around here, will pester the sh.t out of you for walking on the roads. They're azzhats to no end.

[MrBond]

I do GET IT. IMHO if you want to throw your own pity party that's your choice. OR you can go out and do something positive rather than thinking about what you don't or can't do.

How about going to visit a children's cancer ward. These kids are just fighting for their lives, yet you don't see them complaining. They revel in the things that they DO have and not what they don't. There are thousands of people worse off than you yet they pick themselves up and survive. You can do the same once you convince yourself that you can. Take a free class online or do meditation or just something.

You have your brain and full use of your limbs I'm assuming. What you do with them is up to you.

[Dewayne]

Ok, you guys are the ones who are throwing it out there that I have to get out and do something that doesn't cost money.

I AM THE ONE TELLING YOU I CAN'T! And then accuse me of throwing a pity party?

Look pal, I only said that stuff to get you to realize I CAN'T get out and do something.

And you STILL kept coming at me with getting out and doing something. I'm not throwing a dam pity party but answering a question. I guess explaining myself is considered doing so.

Kinda insensitive if you ask me. Just because a person describes his situation he's not a pitier. Thanks.

For what it's worth, I've been doing dam well considering. I dont need you to come on here and tell me I'm throwing a pity party when I'm doing everything I can and NOT trying to get sympathy from people. I come here for support, but find people judging and accusing.