I can definitely see now why her friends told me they can't believe she left me for him, because he is a, quote, OGRE. Fuzzy messy beard, messy fuzzy beard, really bad skin, and face only a mother could love.
He has one big selling point though, he's not you. It is very common for the OP to be a step down from the LBS. Why? I have no idea, maybe it's the low-hanging-fruit syndrome. But I would just warn you, don't fall into the trap of thinking "oh man, I'm so much better than him, one day she's going to wake up and realize she's missing out on ALL THIS!!!" Because that's the path that will lead you away from introspection and from doing the hard work needed to improve yourself and (hopefully) bring her back.
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I need suggestions as to how to be with her. I try to show confidence, strength as well as listening and validating when she complains about something (not relationship stuff).
Good! There's just one more component, and I know you don't want to hear it.... patience. Lots and lots of it.
