I believe the book specifically tells you not to give the book to your WAS or even mention it. They will think everything you are doing and all your changes are a ploy to get them back.
Not sure what the veterans think....
I've been around here for a while. I've been starting to think that when you get into a WAS position with what was a spouse, that you have to look at the situation as if it was a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" who did the same thing to you.
He or she cheated on you and is with another woman or a guy. How would you behave.
I'm also now of the opinion that many of us never needed to "improve" anything about ourselves, that we were fine as we were.
However being stuck into a LBS position with a WAS who has bailed on the relationship, you may as well focus on yourself and fix or work on things that you need to do.
Also, in being married, maybe we should never become too settled, keep our attraction up to the opposite sex, play a few games to keep our spouse on their toes and thinking. However the base and fundamental reason why we decide to be with someone, after having this information has to change.
Be married or in a long term relationship with someone you REALLY like, even without money and sex. If the foundation and basic principles of the relationship have a lot of legs to stand on then you may not get into these troubles to begin with.
