Great job Spartan! I recall getting a L invoice addressed to my W in the mail and just handing it to her while sorting the mail one day saying "this looks to be yours" I also found a marriage certificate in her car (which is needed to initiate divorce) and ignored it. 3 voicemails from L left on our home phone and ignored it. 5 recordings on DVR about divorce and ignored it. My W even wrote a check with our joint account to the L and I ignored it. It is tough to do and believe me I wanted to snap her in 2 (ACOA issus) at the time but it is out of your control. Great job. The more you ignore her BS the better you will be off. It took me so long not to "react". This is a skillset that is valuable for DBing but also in life. My counselor once challenged me to just listen the next time I disagree with what someone is saying. Listen and do not say a thing. Even if I disagree. That is brutally hard. Great job for you!!
One thing to prepare yourself for. I got to the point where I was ignoring her BS so badly and not bringing up R talk at all that it eventually drove her to confront me or bring it up to me. Just be prepared for that. Rehearse a canned statement in your head and be prepared to walk away. I always used "Divorce is not the path I want to take for this family, you have the free will to do what you want". she will throw out lines after you say this. Like "its better then being miserable in a marriage, blah blah blah. DO NOT GET PULLED IN. Say what you want to say and STFU. Walk away. Say it calm and smooth and walk. Not saying to use what I use. But whatever it is have it memorized and be ready to walk.
Your W will continue to push your buttons. Look at them as small tests. Each test you pass brings her closer to you.
I am proud of you because I know how hard it is to ignore stuff like lawyer calls.
