Originally Posted By: rosesarered

Thinks I am different and trying too hard. I asked if I was doing anything right. He just said that I am trying too hard.


It sounds like what he's saying is that he sees your 180's, but they appear forced. So he thinks they are tricks to get him back. This is why it's important to stick with your 180's over a long period of time, it takes quite a while before the WAS starts to believe the 180's are real.

Quote:
He says that he doesn’t believe that I understand how deeply I hurt him.


I hope that when he says things like this, that whether you believe them or not, you validate his emotions. Tell him "you sound hurt and in pain, I understand why my actions made you feel that way." Things like that. Don't agree or disagree, just validate.

Quote:
He seems to have settled down now. He is so much calmer now.
I asked him what his intensions were, he just doesn’t know.


It does sound like he may be emerging from the tunnel, you said it started in Spring 2011 so the timeline seems about right for that. You might go to the MLC forum and read some of the resources there to help you cope. I've read that they will come in and out of the tunnel a lot during this stage, so now is the time for patience. Remember that you cannot help him out of the tunnel, your best approach is to stay detached, concentrate on yourself and the kids and give him space as he emerges.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57