W will do what she wants. Time for ME and D3 !!

[leopoldstotch]

SM you were correct in saying that I am more on the side of you asking her to leave. I understand why you your W around but for me I believe it shows your W and yourself that you do have self respect when you ask the cheating spouse to leave. It seems that it's a pretty big topic here but ultimately it's whatever you decide that is important.

In my case I did leave. Keep in mind that this had been my W's second A and I left after the A was over. We had lived in limbo for months much like we are now. I woke up one day and was fixing my truck when I said that I couldn't live like we were so I packed up and moved out. I was truly ready to move on with my life and so was my W or so it seemed that is until I started dating. That's when it all came crashing down on her.

I used the word POWER earlier because that is what my said about our sitch. She really liked having all the POWER i.e. she liked being able to cake walk. Much like your W my W knew how desperately I wanted her back.But and this is a a big but things didn't change until I was ready for them to change and that meant moving on without her but she also had to want to come back. So you see nothing I did was used as a way to get her back because quite honestly we don't know if a WAS is ever going to come back.

I think you are slowly starting to get the big picture here. Work on you set some boundaries in regards to her A and see how it goes. You will eventually begin to think very clearly once you start working on you and you will see your M in a completely different light. Trust me on that I certainly see mine very differently from when I came here in late 2011. Keep in mind that you will become better but you cannot make your W change or have feelings for you and that's ok.