^^^ Agree. now more than ever you have to let the anger go and the resentment. I know it will be hard, but I also echo OPs when they say you will look back and marvel at how strong you were. Time to retain a good L if you don't have one, for the ensuing custody conversations.
You can also re iterate to wife that this is not what you want, and although you will not actively help her in this process, neither will you hinder it.
