Thanks for reading my first post. I have been reading many great posts here during the last couple of months. It is nice to see how sincere people are in supporting each other under incredibly tough circumstances. That is uplifting.
I'll keep this brief and then follow up with a more detailed post.
Just a quick summary:
- Aug 2012 - W's demeanor towards me completely changed, indicated she wanted independence. Still physical at this time. But W is distant, not the same towards me.
- Sep 2012 - BD, indicated ILYBINILWY in the form of "I feel nothing for you", "I feel no connection with you". W said she wants space. Cuts me off emotionally and physically at that point. Not even a gradual decline. Like falling off a cliff.
- Oct 2012 - W started using guest bedroom
- Jan 2013 - W moves out for trial separation (we've agreed on duration, kids, financials, not dating). W requested the trial separation.
I have read and learned much about myself and our relationship since August. I think for the most part I have handled the situation well in the presence of my W. Readings include among others 5LL, [*], and currently reading DR. I think clearly there are things I need to improve in terms of communications with my W and probably be more interested in her interests. While I am new to DR I believe I had been using the ideas from this book but I have much to learn.
Not sure it is necessary to classify my wife as WAW or MLC or just simply fallen out of love or grown apart. Don't think that matters. I just want to learn better behaviors, set goals, be patient, GAL, and start baby steps to growing closer to my wife again to give our marriage a chance to survive.
I have learned to take what my W says with a grain of salt but admit sometimes things she says get under my skin since BD. She is clearly detaching and separating from me at this time.
So the title of my thread? Recently W and I were with a couple we've known for a while and W was telling a story about an experience with a friend of mine. During the telling of the story W kept saying "you know, that friend of yours" to me. Of course, I didn't want to make a scene with our friends and never brought it up to wife but "that friend of yours" was the best man in our wedding. Of course she knew his name. We had just talked about him recently before this conversation. That behavior is exasperating but I've learned it goes with the territory and to just take a deep breath and smile. I'm guessing folks on this site have experienced similar situations.
Last edited by dbmod; 03/26/1302:09 AM. Reason: Reference not recommended nor allowed
