Wow! All the great posts on here today. Thanks so much, Spartan, AS, busting, FY, SP & Tori!

Spartan, you are right that our S's didn't come to this place overnight. There were things missing in our M. For me the biggest things were probably emotional abandonment during my winter blues (on my part) and taking him for granted. Both of these were what opened the door for OW to take the place for the void he was feeling. Also, there were other things like my need to control decisions about the kids & not really listening to his opinions and validating them as important.

His love tank was empty. He was a father who spent a lot of time w his kids since they were little and he had few hobbies/friends to meet his needs for the other parts of who he is/was.

AS, I will continue to DB as is for now. Continue to be upbeat around H when I'm around him, but to detach. Give him WoA whenever opportunity arises. Continue putting kids first, as they need to see him as much as possible.

Tori, I'm not 100% clear about my H's decision,just 99%. I keep 1% for hope and miracles! It's hard when he doesn't share anything w me, but his actions do feel like his path is still moving away from me/toward OW.

Don't know if ADs are helping but since I starting taking them I have felt better/more in control. Probably just psychological since I've only been taking them for a week.

M- 18 T-21
S-14,11 & 10
BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA)
H moved out 11-3-2012
10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life.
11-25-13 Jointly filed.