As far as trying to figure out the why's of it all I've stopped. It's just too confusing and depressing and I don't think I ever could. I've (finally) come to the conclusion that my W didn't just wake up one day and decide to take another path with her life and break up her family, she was missing things with me that were hurting her so badly that she felt/ feels this is her only option left. Every sitch is different but I don't think anyone ever dreams of being D'd or plans to ever have an affair or anything else to break up their M. Things were missing that led them on that path. I've played the victim role, the blame game, the anger card, felt used, etc... and even if I can temporarily justify things you know what I've realized in the end? None of it matters. In the end I wasn't the man she needed and I take responsibility for that. Some days are much harder than others but I'm now doing my very best to work on me to make me better and I hope and pray she eventually sees it. Even if she doesn't I know I'll never make the same mistakes again in a R and that is how I'm coping at the moment.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
