"Polyamory, though, is not swinging. Polyamory is professing that you can love more than one person simultaneously, and practicing that lifestyle."
Seriously? Same thing. You are introducing more than one person into your circle of intimacy.
"The problem with our situation, is that right now there's not a lot of "poly" going on. Right now she is emotionally and physically distant from me, and I'm hoping that will change."
It won't. ESPECIALLY in your sitch. Here's why. Things already get complicated when you have a WAS dealing with 1 affair person whom they love. It's hard to get them away from the "in love" feelings from that one person. You, however, are supporting a lifestyle where you can 'love' everyone. Once the 'in love' feelings are gone for one person (which they will fade no matter who you are) they will just move on to the next person they get those feelings with and so on and so on. For a relationship to become mature and nurturing, you learn that those 'in love' feelings come in waves and that in the times of drought you don't move on to someone else, you use your commitment and shared beliefs to keep you going until those feelings come back. Or you work at getting those feelings back.
By your lifestyle you just move on to whoever makes you feel good. It's the same reason why people who are in monogamous relationships have 2, 3 or more marriages. They think those 'in love' feelings will last forever. They don't or at least not consistently. ESPECIALLY during times of conflict or tragedy.
I have a feeling that you wouldn't feel so lost if you had someone else that gave you that 'in love' feeling. Then your W would mean nothing to you personally and you wouldn't care if she left or loved someone else. If you did (while you were with someone else) it would be just good old fashioned jealousy. Which, by the way, is a monogamous feeling.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
