Still working on me

[sweetbabyred]

I'm obviously not detached at all, I guess! Honestly, it wouldn't bother me if we were divorced. I wouldn't be happy, but we wouldn't be together.

And maybe if he'd filed and we were just waiting for the process, which should only take 60 days in Texas, I could still deal with it.

It's just that he's "making a new life" without taking any of the steps to end the married life that he already has. Back in December he said he'd try to file earlier if I "needed to move on" and had already found someone.

I had responded that he'd already moved on so it was the right thing to do. I don't feel right about going on a date when I'm still married.

Ever since I was small, my father would give me a hard time about wanting life to be fair. I'm a Libra, so I guess I just think things should even out.

And I know a lot of it is them just trying to convince themselves that everything is great, but the fact that our family and friends see this really bothers me.

I guess I'm just ready to have the freedom to look for a new relationship too. I'm not expecting, or at this point, even hoping to recover my marriage.

I was always so concerned that I would hurt him, because he was so sweet, that I can't come to terms with how he's behaving. And I'm not sure if I could ever trust him again.

And after someone so publicly tells the world that this OW is the one who knows how to love him and treat him, he's completely discounting the years we had together.

At this point, I am ready to be divorced, get our tax situation straightened out, and have his debt paid off so that I can move on. It's not how I would have wanted it, but I think it's the best option right now.

And please, everyone, don't let me even open up fb on Valentine's day.