When I saw W after she got home we discussed her likely getting put onto a national website and I could tell she was excited. I reiterated how happy and proud of her I was for doing all this and I think she could tell I was genuine(180 for me from past). I haven't seen the look she gave me then in a LONG time. She even responded that I was a huge part of this and she couldn't have done any of it without me. Felt good and a 180 for her.
W also told me that she switched her L appointment to just a phone call rather than going there. Not sure why she told me this or if it means anything at all, probably nothing. That means she'll have S4 with her for call which may not be the most logical plan but not my problem.
And the twist, last night W asked me to help her with computer stuff. She was already on there but left to grab something just before I got there. She must have forgot her e-mail was open because on screen was her asking friend to 'tell her something so she doesn't think she's making a mistake going through with this' and friend's reply was she was suppressed for so long and she'll enjoy her life more when it's done. Friend has been D'd twice, doesn't have a pot to pi$$ in, and hasn't seen me or family in over 6 months so I didn't really care about her response. What surprised me was W seeming to have second thoughts, even if momentarily. I quickly got up and went to other room and started "looking for something" so she didn't think I saw it. When I got back it was closed and nothing was said. I know I shouldn't worry about what's going on in her head and it's likely a different thought already but I have to admit I thought about it a lot last night. It really shocked me. It's a whole lot different than a week ago when she basically said I was worst thing on the planet. Just shows that she really is confused and unstable.
Just updating you guys on my day. With all that I won't lie and say it means nothing, I have more hope than I did a few days ago when I felt on the verge of throwing in the towel. I know it's likely just some overflow good feelings after fun family weekend but I'll enjoy the moments as long as they last and not let my expectations get the better of me this time. Today I'm feeling normal and my attitude is in line and not all crazy like it would have been weeks ago. Not changing plan at all and will continue to work on me, have no expectations, and continue to GAL. I'm not about to jump back on the roller coaster again, the ride just isn't that much fun.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
