Soooo is this DB working or what?

[FullOfHope]

I'm in the middle of this party we call MLC w/H. I've been DB since end of November with various signs that H is noticing, but he's still very firm on our marriage being over.

We've progressed to the point that we are simply roommates sharing a home with our kids. H has said he doesn't want to be married, doesn't even like me, won't forgive me for all his pain from our marriage, etc.....

So, I'm wondering why he keeps doing things to check up on ME. He checks my phone to see who I'm talking to. He checks my voicemail. He picked up a book on my bed (we have separate beds in the same room) and was reading the back to see what it was about. Makes comments when I'm dressed nice and have make-up on to go out that I'm going on some "mysterious date" (even in front of the kids).

Any insight?

Thanks!

[Cadet]

So, I'm wondering why he keeps doing things to check up on ME. He checks my phone to see who I'm talking to. He checks my voicemail. He picked up a book on my bed (we have separate beds in the same room) and was reading the back to see what it was about. Makes comments when I'm dressed nice and have make-up on to go out that I'm going on some "mysterious date" (even in front of the kids).

First theads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...455#Post2311455

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...689#Post2313689

Please try to stick to one thread until 100 posts.

If he can find some way to blame you for his PAIN then that is what he wants to do.

So if he finds you dating or breaking your VOWS that is something that can justify what he is doing.
I know it makes no sense but of course that is the way MLC works.

It is all about CONTROL.
And he more than likely has controlled you for your whole marriage, and you enabled it.

How are you doing on the homework that I gave you on the first thread?

Read up on depression that will help make this make more sense.

[LoisB]

Sorry you find yourself here. But, stick with it and you will find much support, understanding, wisdom and encouragement.

If he is in MLC, then nothing he does will make much sense. I've seen my H do things I never, in my wildest, wildest dreams imagined he would do. I'm an overanalyzer so I've spent way too much time trying to figure it out and the end result is... I have NO IDEA WHY He does what he does! It's cuckoo. Much brighter minds than mine have tried to figure this out and no solution, besides detachment, seems to have risen to the top.

Read some of the threads at the top of the MLC forum list("MLC Resources-All Links one Thread"), I found alot of comfort,guidance and reassurance in those threads.

Above all, take care of yourself and know you're not alone.

Heather (Lois)