Soul.Searching my way back.

[theUF]

Sounds like an awesome day SS! It got me stoked on going to the waterpark with S, too bad it's still mid-winter here

It gives a nice perspective of how helpful detaching and GAL really is.

[subguy]

Good for you!!! I hope the positive feelings continue.

[labug]

Yay, SS, being on your own does make somethings easier.

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks all, your words really do help. Just had a strange moment.
I was about to text H, I was feeling all "mushy" over a convo we just had. His down about a situation and I was going to send him a text, next thing I am reciting little Bo peep, in my head.
"Leave them alone and they will come home, wagging their tails behind them."

Yeah, I'm not counting on it. Actually, I highly doubt it but I don't think I will send that text after all.

[FloydMan]

Hey SS, I know you are feeling crummy. Me too.
If you are thinking about sheep then read Luke 15, The Lost Sheep. Seriously.

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks FM, I find after a really good day where I feel I have fully accepted everything, the next days seems to be a downer for some reason. The down days are getting better though. I'm down but not down and out.

That should have said dragging. "Leave them alone and they will come home dragging their tails behind them."

I wasent really thinking about sheep though lol, that rhyme just came to me, kinda felt like a message. Hmm

Honestly, I don't own a bible. I think it's about time I brought one. S8 actually asked me to buy him one a week or so ago. Might have to get the kids one too.

[FloydMan]

Luke, Chapter 15

The Parable of the Lost Sheep.
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* The tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to listen to him,
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but the Pharisees and scribes began to complain, saying, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”b
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So to them he addressed this parable.
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c “What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost oned until he finds it?e
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And when he does find it, he sets it on his shoulders with great joy
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and, upon his arrival home, he calls together his friends and neighbors and says to them, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’
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I tell you, in just the same way there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance.f

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks FM. there's something that has been weighing on my mind lately and I'm don't know how to handle it.
S8 will start sports again soon and i know H will come to at least half of all the games as he has the kids every second weekend. Depending on the start times, H may have to hire a motel room down here for the nights. I think with the way things are going he will probably bring OW and her kids to my S's games, how do I handle that?? I don't want to see them together. I can't really stop him from doing it though? I don't want to have to miss out on S's games!
I have filmed every game since he started. I just don't know how to handle that sitch.

[labug]

Right now you're living in what may be in the future and it's causing you anxiety. Stop. I understand your concern but but it may or may not happen.

You will be strong enough to face what ever happens. It may hurt like he!! but you will handle it.

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks Bug. I know your right, it's just so hard sometime not to.
His an arse! Really he is. He called me five days in a row to ask me if I will pack the kids sleeping bags for their camping trip. I told him I would each time. Why keep asking? He knows I'm upset about not having them on Australia Day (Tomorrow) is he trying to rub it in? Trying to make sure it's on my mind? He has called me at least three times a day for the last week and all of it was about camping.
I think that's been a big thing for me this week. I've been woken up everyday by early morning phone calls from H daily. I haven't answered until I get sick of him calling. I think I tend to feel worse when H phones first thing.
I dread when his name shows up on my phone these days.
I know he either wants a favor or to tell me about his problems.

I find that strange too. He still calls me to tell me his work issues etc. Why? It's got nothing to do with me anymore! He may be leaving his job as he was given an ultimatum and he doesn't like it. It's just hard when he keeps calling so much.
Then it hurts when the calls stop. Just as I'm learning to deal with it, the calls start back up again.

The highs are high and the lows are low. Not as low as they used to be though. I'm very thankful for that.

H picked my kids up about half an hour ago, he was in such a rush which worries me. I just got a fire alert sent to my phone. Apparently there is bush fires in the next suburb. I've never got an alert like that before! I can hear many sirens and helecopters. I can't see or smell any smoke though. How scary