though our situations are slightly different,("supposedly" there is no OM in my sitch), the charateristics of our spouses actions are similar. That was one of the things that concerned me with my wife. She doesn't seem to be playing games. She isn't showing conflicting emotions, she isn't responding to most of the DBing I have been doing. She seems very focused on what she wants and that is the direction she is going, PERIOD!...... HOWEVER, there are some threads where the WAS acts like this, expressing total conviction to sep/div and all of a sudden things turn around. The craziest thing I read about is when a WAS literally spins a completely different tale one day and approaches the LBS wanting to work on things. It seems the change of heart can, and usually does, happen almost overnight. I guess we can't see the inner dialogue going on inside of our spouse. There is lots of conflict going on inside of them. They are likely just as confused, if not more, than we are. We as LBS's just have to have faith that what we are doing (DBing, GAL, Detaching, Acting as if) is in fact all that we have control over. No matter what the end result is, if we do it right, we will leave this as better people, with better skills and understanding of relationships and emotions. Hopefully, your H will be smart enough to recognize your changes and benefit from having a wonderful wife such as yourself! If he doesn't, it's HIS loss, not yours. Focus on making yourself the best possible GTO you can be..... "Little GTO...you're really looking fine"....
