W will do what she wants. Time for ME and D3 !!

[SM34]

Leo, i appreciate it, and I know you are trying to help. I need to work on myself right now. I need to change.

So the last few days I have been thinking hard about what kind of husband i want to be. My idea of a good husband probably is influenced by my W's opinions over the years but i need to do it for me.

One of the things I took a lot of pride in 7 years ago when things were going well, was our house. We bought this house, our first house, together.

Now there are repairs that need to be done. Some of them I can handle myself. This was one of my original 180s in my old thread. On BD wife said it drives her crazy that i don't repair things around the house, and don't finish projects I start.

My W went to school for interior design and did work briefly at a design firm. So, her thing has always been that how can people come around to our house and see these things, when she is a designer.

Our house had a beautiful back yard when we bought it. It has a great deck, with a nice koi pond with a fountain. Once upon I time, i kept up with it and it looked great!

After baby was born, and business took a lot of my time, i neglected it. Now it looks like CRAAAAAP. And I know the fact that I don't take care of things that need to be done is a SERIOUSLY annoying thing for her....and for me! I want to get things done, for myself!

About a year ago when D3 started to be more mobile, and want to play at the park, we talked about cancelling out the koi pond and filling it in with dirt. Also, re-staining the deck and fixing up the plants etc.. putting up a swing for D3.

We cannot let her out there right now because the koi pond is exposed, and its deep. So its like we don't have a backyard at all. I would love to start working on this.

Also part of my 180s is that my W complained that she would ask me to do something around the house, like take out the trash, or mowing the yard. I would say ok i will do it tomorrow and then not do it.

I have learned from GH31 and from a book I am reading about having a good marriage, that it is important to keep your word NO MATTER WHAT. If you say you will do something you must follow through.

So i have done this a few times already with W and I take every opportunity to do this. I have even been taking out the trash as soon as I notice it is full, without waiting for her to say something. I know it sounds small, but every little thing counts right?

So summary of 180s:

1) Make sure if W asks me to do something, I do it. Not right away if that is ridiculous, but then make an agreement together of when it makes sense for me to do it, THEN FOLLOW THROUGH WITH MY PROMISE.

2) Get things done around the house. Finish half done projects. Take more pride in the marital home, like I used to.

3) I am a procrastinator. That needs to stop. i guess this is inline with number 2 above, but also I need to stop this in all aspects of my life. The W hates this because she gets things done. I also hate this, because I don't get things done!

i'm going to dig up the suggestions that Advina wrote to me in my last thread and maybe repost here as a recap.

Advina if you are reading this, where did you go??

By the way I am sitting here on my laptop searching for GAL activities in my area =)