From the moment you started DBing, you became a very quick learner. You followed the principles to a T and I have always admired your ability to lovingly detach (which so many of us struggle with).
You are a success story (and you know it) regardless of what happens with your W, because you became a better man and a H only a fool would leave. Your DBing efforts paid off and you should be proud of yourself.
You have also been such a source of inspiration and have dedicated so much of your time and energy to help others. MANY others (if not, just look at your number of posts in just a few months... LOL)
Again, congrats and I look forward to seeing how your sitch will continue developing with your W. Best to you both.
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
AS Awesome news! You are an inspiration and we all hope it will work out for you! Stop by my thread sometime, I always enjoy your posts and look forward to your hand down knowledge.
Good luck!
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Good to hear from you again AS, and what good news you had as well!
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
Wow, THANK YOU for all the kind comments, I really appreciate it I came back to post another update and was so surprised to see the thread is on page 2 already Your comments really touched me, I am so thankful to have your support and it also really makes me feel great to hear that I have helped you too
I wasn't expecting to post an update this quick, but I went to W's house to do the RetroV exercise with her (sorry I can't be more specific than that, but it's part of what they ask us not to disclose). When I mentioned above that she had told me about her guilt for having been a "liar" throughout our marriage I guess I didn't realize what a watershed moment that was for her. It came out last night that when she disclosed that to me she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her, she feels great relief over it. I took her hand, looked her in the eyes and told her "I want you to know that I forgive you." She teared up and gave me a big, long hug. I had told her that I forgave her when she said it before, but she was crying and we were hugging and I wasn't sure if she heard it or remembered it, so I wanted to make sure she knew it and knew that I meant it.
I'm trying not to have any expectations, but something big seems to be going on with W internally.
Hey buddy, just got back and catching up on threads and I'm so glad this is happening for you. As others have said you are a model DB'er and have helped me and others probably more than you know. Keep up the good work!
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
W has also started owning her part in the marital difficulties. She is just now starting to blame herself for much of what has happened. During one part of RetroV she told me through tears that she is a liar and betrayed me by pretending she was something that she wasn't... I assured her that I had a big part in that problem as well, because she was afraid I would react angrily and so avoided communicating it to me. She kept saying over and over again it wasn't just my fault. I just held her and let her get it out and told her I forgive her.
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It came out last night that when she disclosed that to me she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her, she feels great relief over it. I took her hand, looked her in the eyes and told her "I want you to know that I forgive you." She teared up and gave me a big, long hug. I had told her that I forgave her when she said it before, but she was crying and we were hugging and I wasn't sure if she heard it or remembered it, so I wanted to make sure she knew it and knew that I meant it.
Man I'm glad I have an office at work because I'm teared up after reading all this. I used to be such a tough guy, I don't remember becoming sensitive being a chapter in DR . Kidding aside I'm SO happy for you.
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I'm trying not to have any expectations, but something big seems to be going on with W internally.
Remember to be patient and take it slow!!! I know how I would feel if my W ever did these things so remember what you always tell us.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
What an inspiring thread. I've just started reading your original thread and with so many pages to read it looks like I'll be spending some time reading them tonight after dinner.
I've been DB-ing for almost 3 months now and while I know he sees changes in me, we talked that he's moving out pretty soon. I haven't yelled or cried hysterically in front of him since DB-ing and really just focusing on being a better person/wife. I've only read few of your journal posts from the beginning of your journey but they are so inspiring.
When my H and I initially talked months ago after D was dropped, he said he didn't think I could make him happy and didn't think I'd change because people are who they are. While I immediately thought he was wrong and I could change, later I thought about it hard. "Could I really change for the better?" Well after months of soul searching I can say I'm on the right track to be a better person. I don't know if he sees that but at least I see it
Patience is easier said than done! I'm rooting for you!
M37 H36 M8 T12 inc 3yr L-dist 7/12:H broke down 10/12:H dad D frm W4. BD soon after 1/13:H wants to leave 2/13:H gpa passed. Feels closer but H still leaving 3/13: S begins
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I'm so happy for you AS. I hope thing continue to improve for you and your W.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
I came back to post another update and was so surprised to see the thread is on page 2 already 
it looks like I'll be spending some time reading them tonight after dinner.