W will do what she wants. Time for ME and D3 !!

[leopoldstotch]

OK Lets clear up something. If my W never comes back, my life will still go on.[quote=SM34]

This is good to know.

[quote=SM34]Once you have grieved, you have hope that resides somewhere in you that is in a different place. I can't describe it but i think you guys know what I mean.[quote=SM34]

I really don't quite understand what you mean.


[quote=SM34]BUT, this is a website and accompanying book, and DB coaches that help you try to get your marriage back! It sure seems like a lot of people forget that on here![quote=SM34]

I don't think anyone here has forgotten that at all.

[quote=SM34]When you hit the DivorceBusting.com website it says in huge letters at the bottom SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. And I signed up here to try to do that. So please, I am interested in everyone's opinions and guidance, and I understand why you are telling me to be prepared for the worst.[quote=SM34]

I also think MWD herself states that not all marriages can be saved!

[quote=SM34]But lets try to stick with motivational talk, and helpful analysis, and handing over experience of what works and what doesn't. We have all read enough threads to know the outcome is not predictable, but we would all like to be one of the success stories. If you don't, you shouldn't be here! You should be on a "Speeding up your divorce" site.[quote=SM34]

Ok SM what you get here in these forums is brutal honesty. This isn't a rah rah site. People are giving you their experience and what works for one marriage reconciliation doesn't always work for someone else. Everyone here is hammering you because it seems to most of us that you want an easy way to fix things. Well there is no easy way there may be no way this is why you are told over and over and over again to work on yourself. I get that you want to save your marriage but do you have any idea the level of work that lies ahead of you and your W assuming she wants to be married?

Here comes more honesty. Should you R with your W it is not going to be all sunshine and rainbows and I speak from being there. You will have to learn to trust your W all over again and it will not be easy at all. Every time she goes out you will always wonder where she really is going. Every time she takes a phone call you will wonder who she is talking too. Every time a text comes in you will wonder who is texting. your W will need to be transparent with you and that could be hard for her. My W didn't have an issue being transparent at all. When she comes home late you are going to wonder where she really was who she was really with. Your W will have to learn to trust you too. Trust that your changes are REAL!

I know this from experience I have lived it so I know that an A can be overcome but I don't know if you realize the severity of what is doing right now because you are so focused on getting her back. You don't see the entire picture just yet because you are still shocked and don't say that you aren't because you still gave her money to go see OM. STOP enabling her. You say one thing then do the exact opposite. Why? Do you think it's going to make her want you? The bottom line is SM you need to respect yourself before you can begin to try and save your M. Sorry if I'm harsh but I'm doint it for YOUR own good!