Intact,
I agree w all the has been posted here so far. There must be a "script book" out there somewhere all the WAS's are reading, b/c they all say about the same thing.

I difference is where their journeys take them ultimately...and the answer is, noone knows. You can only work on yourself; you can only control yourself. Stop worrying about your W and what she is doing/thinking and the C she is or isn't seeing.

All C's are NOT alike, unfortunately. My H & I both started w a H/W C team that RECOMMENDED he continue contact and do whatever he felt he needed to do w the EA w OW he's involved with!!!

Anyway, I agree that detaching IS the most difficult part. Mainly b/c you can't really detach until you are ready to detach. It is not a conscience decision (although you CAN take actions to move this along a bit), but an emotional journey that leads you away from feeling so caught up in EVERYTHING your W may be thinking/feeling/doing.

The only way through the pain is THROUGH it--it can't be avoided. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself--for YOU and for YOUR SON!

M- 18 T-21
S-14,11 & 10
BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA)
H moved out 11-3-2012
10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life.
11-25-13 Jointly filed.